I'm writing for the college paper and I will be doing interviews and all that lovely mess, but I am really nervous about how everything will go...
I don't want to suck, I also don't know how well of a reporter I am. So far I have been interviewing a couple of people, but it was no good. I couldn't hear them. I tried and tried to be a great interviewer but its like, I don't want to miss quote, and I don't want to be stuck again.
You know how frustrating writers block is? At this point its not really block, it's blank. Could I do this? I'm trying to be something, but I'm afraid what I will do won't provide enough money. I am proud of myself right now, but I'm scared out of my fucking mind. I feel so alone, but I know I'm not.
My mom isn't here right now, but everyday I wake up, and I think of her. I think about what shes doing, I wonder if shes as alone as me. I wonder if she has as many worries about my well being as I do (I'm sure she does) and then I think about her before I go to sleep.
I remember when we were younger and I would climb on her at night, i get these rush of memories from her when I'm breathing the Minnesota air. It is completely different air that swarms my lungs here, different... and I just don't know why.
I'm excited for her to come and visit me, I wish she could come live here with me, but I know theirs no life for her here. She can't go places here, its really selfish of me to want her here, but I need her throughout my life, it's just the beginning of me.
People around me always say, "You have to leave home at some point, you have to go places, you can't be with your mom always.." Fuck you, you fucking hypocrite.
The parents who say this act as if they never see their kids after they move out, but the reality is that they have them over all the time. They visit them all the time, and are always with them.
The kids who say this are worse. My mom is across the country right now, I can't just get up and go see her once a week... or month... I will have to wait, a year, maybe. You all run to mommy and daddy for things, you can even live with them if you need a place to go. Don't tell me about things you don't understand.
Well, I miss her, and I usually have her to tell me it's alright, and tell me I can do it.
